The Peace of Octopus
by HecateA
Summary: Remus never thought the Giant Squid would be the godmother of his child, yet there they were. Oneshot.


**Author's Note: **In March I looked at the prompt list and thought "I could never use the 'tentacles' prompt," and yet here we are.

**Disclaimer: **The following characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and this story derives from her original works, storylines, and world. Please do not sue me, I can barely pay tuition.

**Warnings: **Blood-purity related harassment.

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**Stacked with: **MC4A; Terms of Services

**Individual Challenge(s): **Hufflepuff MC; Gryffindor MC; Seeds; True Colours; Seeds; Creature People; Golden Times; Old Shoes; Themes and Things B (Prejudice)

**Representation(s): **Auror Tonks

**Bonus challenge(s): **Middle Name; Unwanted Advice; Second Verse (Ladylike); Chorus (Odd Feathers); Demo (Odd Feathers; Pear-Shaped; Wabi Sabi; Tomorrow's Shade; Creature Feature; In the Trench; Saucy Buns; Ariel's Temptation)

**Tertiary bonus challenge: **NA

**Word Count: ** 675

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_**Shipping Wars**_

**Ship (Team): **Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin (Technicolour Moon)

**List (Prompt): **Spring Micro 2 (Tentacles)

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**The Peace of Octopus **

They did their best to lay low. Between the usual culprits (lycanthrope and Order of the Phoenix membership) and the aggravating factors (questionable blood status, runaway father, etc), it was better that way. Dora's ever-growing baby bump also factored into this calculation. That being said, it was impossible _not _to go out. Nor was it nice, nor was it fair.

So Remus picked what should have been a relatively quiet day (a Wednesday) at a quiet time (2:00 in the afternoon) and took Dora to dinner at The Leaky Cauldron. They found a table in the corner, out of the way, and for a while it really did look like they were going to get through a nice meal without being interrupted.

But then, when they'd gone through about two-thirds of their plates, a woman passing by them stopped and made a noise like a snarl. Remus' blood froze, and he put his hand on Dora's knee. She was used to jumping into things and standing up for herself; which was fine and good and admirable, but not necessarily safe at the moment.

"Can we help you?" Remus asked.

"How dare you address me?" the woman said.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Dora said. "Who stopped at whose table?"

"Such manners," the woman said, clucking her tongue. "You know dear, just because that runaway mother of yours tainted your bloodline with a magic-thief's doesn't give you the right to deconsecrate your blood further. Especially not with a child at stake. I shudder to think that the consequences of a werewolf's reproduction will be. You've damned this child to an inhuman life. It will be born in blood."

"I mean, maybe it will," Tonks shrugged. "Though personally, in the betting pool of mutated babies, I would throw my Galleons behind tentacles."

Remus bit back a grin. "On what genetic bases are you expecting tentacles?"

"Oh, none," Dora said. "Buy lycanthrope isn't genetic either, so I thought we were fully in the realm of make-believe at the moment."

"Ah, I see. My apologies, carry on. Wait, sorry to interrupt again, but is the premise that the child will have tentacles instead or in addition to arms?"

"In addition, Remus. Get your head in the game, how else would it hold a wand?"

"Well tentacles are sticky, so I think one could be fully functional with tentacles," Remus said.

"They are quite sticky; one of their many charms," Tonks mused. "But do you know what the best part of tentacles will be?"

"What dear?"

"When the child's ready to go to Hogwarts it won't have to deal with any Sorting; it can just go live right in the lake."

"Of course," Remus said. "And if it wants to summer in the castle, the Giant Squid could babysit."

"Lovely," Dora said. "I, personally, always thought there was something quite maternal about that thing. And, best case scenario, maybe this is how we finally find out where the Squid came from."

"You don't know?"

"You _do?_"

"Of course. Remind me to tell you when we get home," Remus said. "Though I quite agree that the Giant Squid would make it a dotting godmother."

"It has a lot of the same values as we do," she nodded wisely.

They watched with smiles as the witch who had approached them stormed out of the pub. Remus saw a few other patrons looking profoundly disturbed, while others just looked amused.

He turned back to Dora, who was grinning that mischievous grin at him. He smiled back. They were quite funny, admittedly. But that situation hadn't been funny, so he took her hand under the table and squeezed.

"Are you okay?"

Dora opened her mouth, probably to say something flippant and sassy, but then thought twice and shook her head. Remus pulled her close.

"I meant every word I said though," she said against him. "Except for the thing about the lake, I still hope this baby's going to be a Hufflepuff."

Remus laughed.

"I'm at peace with octopi," Remus said, kissing her hair.


End file.
